Sunday, 9 February 2014

Its so hard to find a sturdy butler for one's budding crime fighters.

Not much has changed. My love for Our Lord Batman gets me through many days and Dark Knights (see what i did there).
Short of naming my child after the alter-ego GENIUS! (truth is my husband didn't sit too well with Batman Hicks) i have thought about employing a butler for him.
Now, on SERIOUSLY considering this i applied and had to answer a barrage of questioning which on reflection didn't go down to well It went a little something like this:
Ms Butler agency lady : Are you clear about what you expect your potential butler to do before you begin the search and interviewing process. Tasks include arranging dinner parties, looking after your yacht, making travel arrangements, maintaining the household budget, looking after visitors, doing the laundry, getting the kids off to school, tending the garden, and directing other workers in the household. Many butlers double as a personal assistant, handling correspondence and coordinating your calendar.
Moi : That all sounds great but do your staff help maintain underground caverns recently renovated into Lairs...do you follow?
Ms Butler agency lady : ...not really...Do you mean basement organising?
Moi : ..you could say that. How are your staff at repairing and maintaining highly complicated pieces of technology and having a tinker with a few battle ready forms of transport?
Ms Butler agency lady : Im not sure we have many members of our agency that are mechanics..
Moi : I'm not looking for mechanics, but can i ask if i pay extra are they willing to change their name by deed-poll? I would also like to know how qualified they are at suggesting to their young charge the proper way in spending his inheritance of about 50p should his parents be shot dead in a dingy alley-way after attending an opera and getting lost.
Ms Butler Agency : ..Is this a joke hahaha..ha..
Moi : ..being shot in an alleyway?..Do you consider fighting evil and crime a joke?
Ms Butler Agency : ..Not normally no.
Moi : ..You voted Labour didn't you?...
Ms Butler Agency : ..May i ask how old your son is?
Moi : ..one and a half.
Ms Butler Agency : ..May i recommend a nanny service instead perhaps.
Moi : ..Nanny Service? Does my son look like Count Duckula?..GOOD DAY!
Good grief is it too much to ask?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome :D